The movement of the work at home mum

I recently came across the quote “not just a mum” and it really struck a chord with me because it’s something I have been grappling with ever since I went on maternity leave when I was pregnant with my first daughter. 

  
I was overwhelmed with emotion as I left the office on my last day and I felt that I was leaving my “young professional” identity at the door. Looking back, I had no idea how much motherhood was about to change me from the very inner core of myself. For the next 9 months I was consumed wholeheartedly by my sweetheart and I embraced being at home and watching her grow.
  (Throw back – me and Fatima) 

Going back to the work place when she was so small was the hardest thing I ever did. I don’t even know why I did it. I guess I just thought “that’s what women do, they have babies and they go back to work.” But it wasn’t the same, I wasn’t the same and quite simply…I couldn’t do it. So falling pregnant for the second time Alhumdulilah was like a blessing in disguise. I could then walk away knowing I tried but it was time to refocus and commit to my family. 

  
Being a full time mum has allowed me to be completely present in my children’s lives and I absolutely love it but I guess you could say that I am still redefining and figuring out who I am and what my new dreams might be. 

As a wife, I have been focused on supporting my husband with his dreams, in being patient whilst he works tirelessly on his goals for the sake of our future and our family. As a mother I am dedicated to nurturing and growing our little people and doing all that I can to meet their ever changing needs. But what can happen in today’s society is that people can make you believe in order to be great at all of that, you have to totally sacrifice yourself. Likewise, when your family are your everything and you are committed to nourishing it, you can forget to nourish yourself, to realise your own dreams, to set your own goals. 
  
Life has to be about balance, about finding that place that you can sit comfortably in and say “this is me,” and know that you are happy with it. Now, I find myself in this crazy category of “work at home mum” and for me, developing my business has allowed me to be a professional person again. It’s given me an opportunity to work on something that will challenge me in a completely different way and it’s a rebirth of a whole new identity. What I love the most about being a work at home mum is that my children are on this journey with me and there is so much they can learn from it too. 

I would like to introduce a good friend of mine who like me, just wanted a little more for herself. She will share some insight and her own perspective on being a work at home mum. 

Tell us a little about your business? 

  
It’s basically fash-tech which is a term I recently learnt about. We, being me and my sister are working towards a goal of creating a platform, for bloggers and customers such as yourself for the modest fashion market. This is my second business whilst being a stay at home mum. I initially started with a crafting company momentsoflife.co.uk. 

Why did you decided to be a work at home mother? 

Honestly I don’t think it was a conscious decision it happened because I wanted to fill my personal time with other things to develop myself. Whether it was a business, hobby or personal challenge I knew I had to do something for me, we as mothers have to work to nurture both our child and ourselves. 

Looking back, I think it helped with the mental challenges we go through in the first few months of being a new mum. At times I did think I was on the verge of PND but having something else to focus on really helped me personally. 
What are the biggest challenges? 

Biggest challenge I think is confidence, a lot of women and men can probably relate to that. My confidence has grown from reliance in Allah and that Allah will guide me. I have to be adaptable, one moment I’m changing a nappy or negotiating with my daughter about not eating a leaf and the next I’m negotiating advertising rates, switching roles is not easy.  
  
How do you find balance in juggling all your different roles? 

Some days it can be hard wearing all the different ‘hijabs’ and You have to learn to prioritise. Eg if my daughter isn’t well I will have to drop work  and some days my home may be a bit more ‘lived in!’ I also believe in approaching each day positively and viewing time as a blessing, this has helped me immensely. So I’d say changing my approach, being kind to myself and getting my intention right to start with! As Muslims we should have excellence in our work but often people confuse this for perfection, there’s a difference. 
What do you hope your child will gain from the experience? 

In sha Allah my children will grow up to realise that we are in this dunya (world) temporarily and whilst we are here we should help and contribute to the world in various ways through our homes and wider community. 
How and when do you find time for yourself where you can switch off? 
This I am figuring out still. It’s 4.00 am and I’m writing this! So when you have the answer let me know. As a mother I’m sure a lot of ladies will relate to this but having a shower for more than 20 minutes is a spa day to me so I guess I switch off then and I like to take walks with my daughter which help me. Night time prayer too when the home is quiet and it’s me and Allah. 

What would be your best advice for a mum that wants to start a business from home?
Simply and honestly ‘start’ ! Sometimes we mull over ideas and discuss them to the moon and back. Make the intention correct and go for it! Failure is not trying! Planning and researching the area you want to go into is also important. Be flexible and plan but be aware the plans may change. Believe in yourself and above all make dua. 

Please check out Amaliah by visiting http://www.amaliah.co.uk